So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
