So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
