oh god the rape fog is back!
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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