he puts the penis in happiness.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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