we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Randomize
