Just cropdusted the office
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
