Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
