OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
be right there i have to get my cape
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
