Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
