Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Reggie can tackle my bush.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
