You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
