her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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