I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
