2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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