at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
