I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
