I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
