is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
