I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
