every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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