Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
