she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
