Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Are we still banned from the library?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
