i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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