My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
