Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
