i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
