When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
