So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
