I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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