this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
