In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
