I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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