I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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