we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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