don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
