all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
