Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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