She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
