There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
