Buhtt sex?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
