He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
