Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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