when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
