i just had sex bonerless
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
