Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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