Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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