And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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