i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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