Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
