I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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