did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I don't deserve a penis
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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