It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Sorry my hands just texted you
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
